The Good Die Young

I started this blog post on yesterday and couldn't bring myself to finish it.  This morning I told myself a story that evokes that much emotion deserves to be told.  On Wednesday, my "sister" and one of my best friends watched as her four month old granddaughter was laid to rest.  When I got the news of the baby girl's passing on Friday I had mixed emotions about going to the hospital to be with my sister but I got up the courage and was able to make it there.  I held the big, beautiful baby girl and then it ALL came back.

Last June at twenty three weeks pregnant I woke up in a pool of blood.  When I arrived at the hospital they performed a couple of tests and told me what I already knew.  My baby girl, Zoe, was dead in my womb and I would have to deliver her.  I was so blank the Doctor immediately did a toxicology screen.  I guess he figured a person who had been given that news and showed no emotion had to be high on something.  But I wasn't high.  I didn't know how to react and couldn't believe this was happening to me.  So, I pushed my emotions to the side like I do so many times and prepared to deliver my baby. 

After delivery we were able to hold Baby Zoe and say our goodbyes but goodbye still had not hit me yet.  It wasn't until two days later when I left the hospital without her that the tears began streaming.  To be honest, that day at the hospital when all those emotions returned, I knew that I haven't said goodbye yet.  But why would I?  She's my baby girl and I'll see her later in heaven.  So no goodbyes.  See you later Zoe and Harmony.  I love you both.

Stop Snitching??? !!!

I was going through old pictures and found one of my cousin in her "Stop Snitching" shirt.  I remember around 2006 when these shirts were very popular.  I decided to blog it.  While doing the research for this blog, I ran across this article that discussed a DVD that featured Carmelo Anthony.  Anthony discussed his beliefs and how he was reared to not "snitch".  The article briefly touches on the government's decision to impose mandatory minimum sentences for drug crimes and how law enforcement uses the testimony of drug criminals to convict other drug criminals.  This topic hits close to home also but I'll touch on it at a later date.  The above article can be found here.  http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?columnist=farrey_tom&id=2296590

So, here are my thoughts.  I am all for reducing crime and making neighborhoods safe.  I am however against allowing leniency for someone committing the exact same crime as another in exchange for his or her testimony.  How about police officers do a little primary prevention and plant themselves in neighborhoods to reduce crime rates instead of relying on citizens, and criminals at that, to police our neighborhoods?  And what about innocent until PROVEN guilty?  Can someone really be proven guilty solely off the testimony of someone else?  How sure can law enforcement be that the testimony provided is the truth rather than solely an attempt at a get out of jail free card?

Several of the other articles went on to condemn the "stop snitching" culture.  Of course there were several sentences linking it to hip hop and African American culture.  In a world where everyone's pointing fingers and no one's to blame I believe it's time that we all work together to "stop snitching", prevent crime and convict criminals based on facts rather than he say she say.  In addition to policing the neighborhoods, law enforcement and other professionals need to mentor youth and encourage them to seek other positive avenues.  Then, there would be no need to "stop snitching" because hopefully people wouldn't have anyone on whom to snitch.

Give and it Shall Be Given to You

After Nia grew out of her first set of clothing I had a yard sale. I just knew I was going to receive an increase. The money that I made, though helpful, was not worth the prep and service time. I decided at that point no more yard sales. From then on I would give the clothes to someone who needed them.

This morning I received a call. It was from one of the clothing recipients. She said those clothes always came through on time and she wanted to return the favor. She offered to buy some of Winter's milk every month.

I feel that my seed planting finally reaped a harvest. Today so many people are looking to harvest yet they haven't planted any seeds. Instead of asking "What have you done for me lately?" take the time out of your schedule to lend a helping hand. Don't do it expecting a return but know that at some point the return is coming. 'Tis the season!

This Christmas

This Christmas I didn't ask God for anything. He has already blessed me with the two best gifts a girl could have, Ania Javonne and Winter Rose. Friday my Sissy lost her four month old grandbaby. I was reminded to cherish WHO matters. Things can be replaced. Loved ones can't.

Both my girls are blessings. Ania does a great job with her little sister and is very protective. Winter is growing and changing daily and is very attached to her Mommy. Today my baby baby girl is two weeks old. This Christmas my wish for all of you is that just like me you're better than blessed. Please remember the reason for the season and that God is Love.

Is What's Good for the Goose Good for the Gander?

A friend of mine called me to say he had to let his daughter know he and his girlfriend broke up recently (after October). He said he told his daughter that Daddy would have friends because he realized she would develop relationships based on what she witnessed from her parents. I was shocked to learn that after being broken up for a month he was introducing his daughter to his "friend" and taking said "friend" to his family's holiday party. Today's blog poses some questions. Had this been the actions of the little girl's mother, how receptive would the girl's Dad have been? Should the girl's Mom voice concerns to her Dad? Is what's good for the goose good for the gander?

You Do What?

At the altar when one is saying "I do" what exactly is one agreeing to do?  According to the CDC there were 2,077,000 marriages in the United States in 2009 (CDC, 2010).  The rate of marriage was 6.8 per 1,000 of the population (CDC, 2010).  Sadly, the number of divorces was 3.4 per 1,000 of the population (CDC, 2010).  It seems like it's easy to get into a marriage and about half as easy to get out of one.  As I'm writing I'm watching Kim and Kourtney take New York and remembering past episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  It's obvious to me that Kim and Kris were so into getting married that they didn't research the effort required to stay married. 

Kris acts like he just found out after saying "I do" that Kim is a reality tv star who leads a hectic life.  Also, Kim seems to have only found out about Kris' immaturity after moving to New York.  Now, I've been a part of a sneak attack where the person I married wasn't the person I knew previously but this relationship was one big caution light.  Having been a part of a failed marriage I don't want to join in on the lynch mob that seeks to hang Kim for searching for the fairy tale.  I do wish that after she exits her griefing phase she uses her famous for being famous face to reach her audience and encourage them to a) not rush into marriage and b) put a little effort into working on love. 

Let me just say that some of the best examples of longevity in marriage can be found a little closer to home.  My Aunt Bebe and Uncle Bobby are mine.  Thirty six years and still growing strong.  They give me hope that Boaz is still out there.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  (2010). http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm

Throwback Thursday - Toys

While shopping for a couple of surprise gifts for Nia's Christmas, I took a trip back to my childhood and left with a smile. Those were the days, when responsibility was few and fun was plenty. My cousins and I were like a band of brothers. In fact, some of our most enjoyable moments didn't involve toys at all. We would play in Grandma's dirt for hours making goo lash and cruise the neighborhood on our bikes searching for cans for our recycling project.

Nevertheless, when toys were needed these are a few that come to mind. The first toy I ran across in Wal Mart was Alphie, the talking educational robot.

Next I saw a shelf full of cabbage patch dolls. I LOVED my cabbage patch doll. Now Nia wants those $100+ dollar American Girl Dolls that aren't near as cuddly.

These two weren't in the store but I'd do my childhood a disservice if I didn't mention them. I absolutely loved my pogo ball. I never could do tricks but I'd bounce on it forever. And, if you didn't own a Teddy Ruxpin, your parents didn't love you. Just kidding, but Teddy was a big deal.


This trip down memory lane did me a world of good. Now, I think I'll search for a pogo ball.