The Student is also the Teacher

Everyday my oldest girl teaches me a valuable lesson. Since Winter's arrival she's taught me the importance of stepping up. Nia hasn't slept alone while with her LTown family in all her seven years. Now she goes to bed alone and is sleep shortly after a good night kiss. Nia teaches me that I am my sister's keeper. She hates to hear her sister cry. When Winter makes the slightest whimper Nia immediately runs to her side to comfort her. Everyday Nia teaches me an anti procrastination message. She begins her homework as soon as she gets in the car after school. This is something I've always told my Mom and now I'm witnessing it personally. That thing is that you can definitely learn from your children. Knowing this is part of our family hustle.

Should I Stay or Should I Go

I caught the recent episode of Love n Hip Hop late. The part that has me pondering the most is Fab's ex assistant's advice to Emily. She basically was saying "You've put up with it for this long. You don't want to have to start over with someone else.". This is discouraging to me. I understand the concept of having time invested in certain things such as business and education. In that case by all means endure. However, when it comes to relationships and years invested at some point enough has to be enough. I think it all comes down to returning to old school logic. Don't play house until he marries you and puts you in a house.

On the other hand you have the disaster that is Melanie and Derwin. Through all the mistrust and betrayals they chose to stick it out and get married. It seems like each episode is going to feature some sort of tantrum by one of them. I seriously want to ask them for ID. I think it all comes down to knowing yourself and knowing what you deserve. After knowing, you have to command respect. Otherwise be a doormat. I don't have that option. My daughters are watching.

Did Everybody Kiss Dating Goodbye?

Remember a couple of years ago there was a Christian book marketed entitled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"? I didn't read the book but I think it was almost in favor of arranged marriages. I'm exaggerating but you get the drift. I'm sure that's not the reason people date less. I mean we have to give clubs some credit. The other part I attribute to a lack of thoughtfulness and creativity.

Lately I've been trying to remember my last actual date. It's been forever not counting group dates. Do people date anymore or is dating a lost art? I feel like when couples or perspective couples get back to dating communication and clean fun will increase. Then maybe, relationships will have staying power. If not, a girl can dream, can't she?

I've used the picture below before. But they're my second favorite example of love. Married over 35 years and still dating. That says a lot.

Start Like You Want to Finish

Have you ever been in the middle or at the long end of a relationship and thought "Am I really here? Why am I putting up with this?". Sometimes we extend ourselves so much to capture the attention and hearts of not only significant others but friends that when they expect the above and beyond one time too many we call them on it and things either change or here comes the resentment.

I've recently discovered through the goings on of a very important relationship that it's important to start like you wish to finish. In this relationship I was very lenient with the respect factor and now the other party involved is having a hard time dishing out the respect that I'm demanding. While I understand that the reality check I've written is difficult for this person to cash, they'd better be making their way to the bank because there are no take backs. Today's hump day thought is to start like you wish to finish and always command respect.

Celebrate Monday

Rather than begin this Monday like so many before it I made the conscious decision to celebrate all the things I must accomplish instead of dreading them. Last week I loathed the thought of returning to work this week. Today, I'm celebrating it. Yes, I have tons going on with two children, work and school but somewhere someone doesn't have anything going for them. The long and short of it is this Monday I'm glad to be among the living and productive. I know my hardwork will pay off soon. Celebrate Monday. Don't just live for the weekend. Make every day count.

Progress

Since this blog is affectionately titled Just the Three of Us I felt its only right that I update you on the girls and me. Nia is back in school after spending half of her winter break in Atlanta and the other half lounging with Winter and me. She's still an awesome big sister keeping herself occupied and helping with her sister when needed.

I had a refreshing conversation with her Dad yesterday. My goal for 2012 is to talk to people rather than at or about them. I discussed my relationship with my Dad or lack thereof and explained how important it is that he spend as much time as possible with Nia especially with my current situation. He voiced understanding and we both were amicable. Talk about progress. We have no choice. Ania's success is the goal. We've got to do everything possible to make it happen.

As far as my new gift is concerned, she's growing by leaps and bounds. She's just as beautiful as her sister and smart too. My only concern is that she has yet to meet her Dad and I can't tell her when she will. I fault myself in both situations. How could someone who knows from experience how important a father is pass these situations to her children? I won't dwell on it though. I can only assure them that I love them more than a million mommies and daddies and that I'll always be here.

Why You Mad Tho?

I feel guilty even writing this but I'm going to do it anyway. I like most everyone else enjoy my reality tv fix but I must say I'm beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable with all the cattiness. Throwing glasses and assaulting people with trite comments is the new "Hello, how are you?".

So yea I'm taking about the Mob Wives and Love and Hip Hop girl fights. It's a sad day when grown women have to talk with their hands rather than communicating with words. At the end of the day what are we teaching our children?

Personally I feel like anyone who angers me that much doesn't deserve a spot in my life. These ladies need to adopt that policy. At the same time I feel they should say "Hey, what's really bothering me that made me allow you to push me to the edge?" Big ups to Kimbella for actually doing that this week. Ladies, where is the love for yourself and others?

Is Chivalry Dead

"Chivalry is largely dead and feminism is the murderer" -Laura Schlessinger

The question posed is an old one. However, it's not age old per say. There was a time that it was understood that men are to be gentlemen and women should expect and enjoy this courtesy. These days that is not the case. I can't tell you how many times I'm walking in a building behind a "man" or into a shared space with one and he neglects to hold the door or allow me to pass first. That is definitely a pet peeve.

The above author argues that the feminist movement killed chivalry. I beg to differ. I'm a very independent woman but I'd appreciate the valor of a man at some point. If feminism is indeed the culprit I encourage ladies to remain self sufficient but make room for courtesy. Encourage your sons to practice chivalry and your daughters to accept nothing less.

Case in point, Ania's Uncle Tyler opened the car door for her a couple of weeks ago. She responded by saying "You don't have to open my door" in a snappy tone. I immediately let her know that any man who doesn't take time to open the door isn't worthy of her time. I hope she'll remember that.